Easter

"Where is the Easter Bunny, damn it??"

Nothing like Easter and Spring Break together to inspire some Martha Stewart craftiness.

Yeah. I have come to the conclusion Martha has stock in Valium. And is not afraid to use it.

We picked Tye- Dyed eggs this year because they were different and looked to be loads of fun. They came out really cool, I will admit. To be loads of fun, you would have to require that to involve a dirty wet rag, and egg dye every.where.

We did some other crafts, but they too were destined for disaster. Finally we just gave up and watched movies. We all decided that not only is "50 First Dates" one of the best movies ever, but that it was time better spent.

I saw these deviled eggs on someones facebook wall and thought they were so cute. I wondered why no one had thought of this idea sooner. No one had because it was damn near impossible to make them! It took a full dozen eggs to get these four little chicks! At dinner no one even wanted to eat them! "Too cute to eat!" Seriously? I got great pleasure making them into egg salad ;)

My first attempt at a cherry pie.

Forgot it in the oven and burned the hell out of it.

It sure was pretty.

My cake boss in the making. She has more patience with this stuff than I do. She also learned that after you make it, you seldom want to eat it! I just threw the last of the cake away.

It *could have had something to do with the fact that the eggs were robin's Eggs Whoppers. Those candies are the devil's own.

Even with all the craziness, we had a great Spring Break and a great Easter. All four kids at home, baskets of goodies, Dyed eggs with inappropriate words, and wearing nothing but pj's for a week straight.

What more could you ask for?

Not as smart as I thought I was

I got a new phone for Christmas. I was due an upgrade, and needed to have the ability to send pictures. How else can you share the ridiculous things you come across in a day if you can't send pics?!?

After four months, I think I have it figured out. With much help from you tube tutorials, and Morgan my phone helper guru.

BUT....the downside is (in case you had not noticed) I inadvertently deleted all my blog pictures. :(

I didn't really want them on my phone, and had NO idea that deleting them would wipe them off of everything. Forever.

I had great plans to go plug them back into the appropriate place, but after doing this on ONE post, I thought better.

Have you ever tried to read html code?? Holy shit. My eyes are bleeding.

So. If you didn't read before, you will have to use your imagination on the pictures.

In case you need some cuteness, I will leave you with this:

Hi Ho, Hi Ho....to get a tree we go....

After a rare stretch of balmy-for-December weather, we decided to go chop down a Christmas tree early. 'Go chop down', as opposed to 'go to the nursery, point to a good tree, then go pet the cat who lives there'.

We had a plan. *Tall and plump*. After some "suggestions" we did have to add:* green and pointed* to that list. Later we had to add: *still alive*.

After 47 days and nights tromping around the tree farm, tripping on stumps, falling in holes, we narrowed down the list bit by bit. Every hill we discarded another requirement until at last we were left with: GREEN. Even that was negotiable.

In spit of lowering our expectations we still could not decide on a tree. Weeping with hunger and fatigue, I finally conceded to Janey that she could pick whatever tree she wanted.

And this, my friends, is how the fattest Christmas tree *EVER* came to dwell in my living room!

Bake Pops; Part Deux

">A while back the girls and I decide to make cake pops. Once. We made them, and learned our lesson.

This year for Janey's birthday her friends Jessie and Katie got her the "As Seen on tv" Bake Pops.

Thankfully Jackie (Jessie and Katie's super mom) also got a set, and gave us a few pointers.

I was still skeptical, and kind of dreaded making them.

Directions seemed easy enough. Make cake as directed, and add a package of pudding mix.

Pour into bottom pan. That would be the pan without the holes.

Take a picture of the cute birthday girlInstead of using melted chocolate to set the sticks and coat the cake, Jackie suggested heating up frosting. I can.not.even.BEGIN to tell you how much easier this made it!!

All we had to do was decorate, and voila!! Done and done.

So easy, and so yummy! AND a very important lesson that sometimes the "as seen on tv" gimmicks are well worth it!

King me!

Every now and then an idea so simple smacks me in the side of the head. Usually the result of fighting kids, this one is no exception.

Last week I bought a chess/checkers set after the girls showed renewed interest.

Who knows where our old one(s) have gone to.

Needless to say, the boys want to play chess and the girls want to play checkers. At.the.same.time.

So..... with these few supplies, I made one of my best things EVER.

Acrylic paint in red and black

Yardstick

Sharpie

Brushes (foam worked really well)

Screwdriver

And most importantly:

A wooden picnic table

I measured the "board" and marked off the spaces with the sharpie.

Mine were 3 inches square.

Use the screwdriver to 'etch' the lines in. It will help with the painting.

Not something you *have to do, but it made it a bit easier.
I put 3 or 4 coats of paint on. It dried quickly, and I stopped once I had the coverage I wanted.

Add the black squares.

I wanted this (obviously) to be weatherproof.

It is our crab eating table also, so it has to take a bit of wear and tear.

I used this sealer. Why? Because I had it already.

Used newspaper and tape to cover the parts I didn't want sealed.

Had to use packing tape, since duct tape disappears faster than candy in this house.

Again, one of those things I have no answer to.

Couple of coats later...voila!! How awesome is this??

Now all they need is some checkers.

Sun In

Finally was brave enough to let Janey swim in the deep end.

She perfected her underwater moves called "give mom a heart attack".

She can hold her breath for something close to 46 minutes. Or so it feels.

Summer: Blonde hair for the kid.

Gray hair for the mama.

Not for the timid

Always looking for some fun (free) crafts to do at home. Preferably ones that we can get a lot of use out of. After discovering the rock hard, dried up finger paint I went in search of a recipe for make your own. I found a few recipes, and they all looked pretty simple.

Simple I can do.

3 ingredients simple I can really do.

You know, 3 ingredients. Can't be that bad.

Things you may not know:

Cornstarch is messy. Really messy.

It is not the same consistency as flour, and if you are dumb enough to make the mistake of trying to pour it into a measuring cup, well....you will be making a big mistake.

Cornstarch and water, brought to a boil to thicken WILL bubble.

If it gets on your skin, especially on the soft, unprotected flesh of your fingers, you WILL scream.

You might even scream "F*CK!!!"

You will not, however, feel too bad about it because you will be in stunning disbelief as to how much it burns, and how cornstarch+boiling water= molten hot GLUE.

The mixing of the colors was the best part in the opinion of the paint makers.

I would love to be able to tell you how it actually works, but apparetnly they only wanted to make the fingerpaint. Not use it.

Probably for the best right now. I am sure it would irritate my blistered, burned flesh.