Calgon take me away!

Conversation between Janey and my niece Brianna after Janey's repeated pawing of Bri:

B- "Janey, get off my boobs"

J- "But I like them"

B- "Well they are mine. Someday you wil have your own."

J- "And then I can touch then as much as I want?"

Every now and then....

...the planets align. Venus is in retrograde. The god's smile down on us. And luck is on your side. And even LESS frequently all four of your birth children are dressed nicely, and no one looks like they have been afflicted with a bad case of rabies.

And never, ever, EVER does this happen without a great deal of planning, begging, and threatening!

Who???

Who you calling 'Cindy Lou Who'???

Poor Auntie

The other night we were all watching a great movie/documentary on life in the Arctic circle. Animal documentaries are always hard for me to watch because, like it or not.....someone always bites the dust. And in the nature of documentary torture, it is usually the one that they have made you cheer for. This was about Polar bears, Walruses (not Walr-i, dear husband!) and Arctic foxes. Should have just turned it off at the first sight of baby polar bears! Anyway, the movie (narrated by Queen Latifah, one of my favs!) followed a family of polar bears, and a family of walruses. The baby walrus, Selah, was cared for by her mama and her Auntie. Wait just a minute.....WHY does the big, fat, blubery walrus have to be named Auntie??? That is MY name, and has been since January six years ago when my nephew came screaming into the world. Granted, Auntie (the walrus) is also a kind, generous loving soul, but she is kinda....big. And has a beard. Couldn't they have named her Mary Poppins or something?? So good, kind Auntie takes care of Selah, who is a bad, bad baby walrus. Selah just doesn't want to listen. Auntie does everything to keep her safe, including swimming over 200 miles barefoot through the snow and ice to give her a better life! Kidding on the barefoot, but not the snow and ice....duh. It is the Arctic, remember? Hardheaded Selah just won't quit. She climbs the cliff in search of who knows what even though a.) she refuses to listen to Queen Latifah say, "Walruses are NOT meant to climb", and b.) she is OBLIVIOUS to the scary Jaws music playing in the background. Dumb, dumb move Selah.....because guess who is at the top of the cliff she never should have climbed??? Did you say POLAR BEAR? AHHHH...the suspense is killing me! She does manage to escape and warn the others, but not before the bear sees exactly what he will be having for lunch. Mr. Bear still manages to find Selah later in the movie and proceeds to try and lure her onto a hamburger roll. And WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT...Auntie saves the day, and sacrifices her own life to save Selah. Nice, huh? Ruined my whole night. Poor sad, blubbery, bearded Auntie.