Feeling pretty good about feeling pretty bad

Ok. Here is a newly discovered confession: I am a bad blood donor. Teddy and I were honored to be part of Jeremy's Birthday Blood Drive, and I have given as many times as I can since the first drive, so this is old hat. Ahhh...pride SO cometh before the fall!!!! All was well, and I assured my great nurse, Jennifer I wouldn't need her for anything, except perhaps a heated blanket since it was about 45 degrees in the gym!!! I started confidently filling my bag o' blood when 20 seconds later I am totally flushed, nauseous, and seeing pinpricks. It is all sounding very foggy, and the room is closing in. Simultaneous thoughts : Can you faint if you are already sitting down? Oh my, I think I have to barf. Please don't let me PULL OUT MY I.V!!!! And please, whatever happens...do NOT let anyone SEE me!!!!! Luckily right then Angel Nurse asks me how I am. I mumbled something like "I am really not feelin' so great" and BAM she flipped a switch on the chair, and up went my legs. 2 second later she was wrapping a cold cloth around my neck and telling me to cough because my line had clotted. Uh....trying not to barf. Don't really want to COUGH. (And,btw, the cold cloth came from in a bucket full of ice water and cloths, leading me to believe that I am not the only ninny out there!!)

A few hours later I saw a lady scurrying to one of the donors with a coke, and thought, "HA. I am not the only one!" But it was Teddy, and that is kind of just as bad!! He felt fine later, which is good, because there was NO WAY I could drag my lightheaded self, a four year old, a huge bag of baked goods, and a 200 lb. kid to the car!! I am so proud of him for doing this, especially knowing he is not a fan of blood or needles. He has known Amy for over 10 years (I can't believe that!!) and we babysat her son ( and the kids buddy) for two years. I didn't even have to ask twice. I didn't even have to beg, or threaten, or bribe. And anyone who knows teenagers, knows THAT is quite a feat. He was wholeheartedly willing to give blood in Jeremy's honor again.

Speaking of baked good...I think I have diabetes just from looking at all the donated items to the bake sale!! Our purchases alone were enough to put the kids into sugar shock. A day later, not much of this is left.

The girls wanted to be a part of this too, so we made Rice Krispie treats to sell.

The Morse's are using the money raised to make additions to the Johns Hopkins PICU, and the Children's House, such as CD players, digital cameras, toiletries, and other necessities. In this tough economic time I have realized that I would rather my dollar go for good. For all those who have everything this holiday season, why not consider giving to a charity that honors them instead? How may sweaters do people really need anyway??

In all seriousness it was a little sad going back to the church for this blood drive. It was not only the site of the first one we organized, but this would be the first time I have seen Amy since the funeral (we are both masters of phone tag). In the end it was all good. I walked in and saw nothing more than my friend. A friend who would do everything in her power to support me in rough times. A friend surrounded by so many people who love and care about her and her family. And when you think about it the blood donated will truly give people life. A second chance after an accident. A life saving transfusion. Platelets to ward off killing diseases. I would much rather have NOT spent the day here. I would much rather have the Morse's home recovering from Jeremy's first birthday party. But I do believe we did him proud.

Godspeed, little man. Sweet Dreams.