"Not ME!" Monday

A great idea I got from another blog (http://www.mycharmingkids.net/). A way to share with people how NOT perfect we are. And realize that most of us spend ALOT of time doing things we would NEVER do!!! It is hard for me to come up with things since I am sooooo perfect in all I do (pause for laughter, now catch your breath and keep reading!) but here goes.....these are some things that I most definitely DID NOT do. Not ME! No way, no how!

• I did not wake myself up snoring like a trucker. (BTW....thanks for the cold, germ spreader)
• I did not have to wipe my nose on a (clean) pair of socks that I found in the car because the 500 trillion napkins I used to have are now mysteriously gone. No way. That is just GROSS. *Note to self: wash those socks.
• I did not eat a (small) bag of cool ranch Doritos for breakfast. Although if I had it would only be because there is nothing else in this house o' gluten I can have.
• I am not writing this now instead of playing a game of Zingo (for the billionth time) My kids ALWAYS come first.
• I was not secretly laughing at the horrified look I got from the (annoying) gymnastics Mom once she found out that NOT ONLY did my child go to pre-school ONLY two days a week, BUT that she was not in swimming, dance, and equestrian lessons either.
• I am so not ignoring the thousands of cobwebs that have sprung up overnight. Because there is nothing I would rather do than vacuum my ceilings.
• I did not just change the sheets on my big daughters bed for the first time in a very, very, very long time. Because even though she has bunk beds that are a pain in the butt to change and filled with tons of pillows, blankets and 80 stuffed animals to boot, I would NEVER let the sheets go that long between changes. NEVER EVER.
• I did not buy myself a cute new pair of embroidered ballet flats then taunt my (jealous) 9 year old daughter with them. Luckily, I did NOT have a witness to this either! (Although, if I had done this, it would be karmically fitting that later that weekend someone would spill a beer all over them).
• And finally....I did NOT just yell "ENOUGH!" after hearing "Let's play Zingo now, let's play Zingo now, let's play Zingo now, let's play Zingo now, let's play Zingo now" for ten minutes straight. I am so NOT going to let her win!!

What have you NOT done lately??