I did NOT lose my debit card, credit card, wallet and license. Again. For the second time this month. I did NOT have to cancel my debit/credit card. Again. Nope, I am very responsible and would never lose things. Again.
I have NOT spent way (way, way) too much time checking facebook and all the blogs I follow. Really. I was cleaning. My bathroom is so clean you could operate in it. And the rest of my house?? Beyond compare (or beyond repair!!)
I did NOT ignore the food I dropped on the floor, knowing that eventually the dog would find it.
I did NOT eat a bag of mini Heath bars by myself, and LIE to my children about them being gone....long before they were. They are, I have heard, very addictive AND gluten free so I could eat them if I wanted. But I didn't because I am already "fluffy" enough, and the LAST thing I need is (a bag full of) candy bars.
I absolutely DO NOT still feel sorry for myself and my dumb eating restrictions. That would be silly...I know there is much worse that could be wrong. I so did NOT cry because I just wanted a 'normal' lunch with my family. Really, how selfish and pitiful.
I did NOT read two (long) books back to back this weekend instead of doing pretty much anything else. I also did not text my neighbor to see if she was (finally) done the third book. I am NOT hoping she will stay up late and finish it so I can have it tomorrow. I know there is NO WAY she would ever have time to take a nap in the day to make up for the lack of sleep I am driving her to!!! (Are you done YET????)
I am sooooo NOT secretly hoping Janey's cough is just a little worse tomorrow. Forcing us to skip our normal gymnastics day and avoid the crazy mother who is really NOT driving me completely, totally insane. It's 45 minutes.....she can't be that bad, right?? WRONG.
I did NOT wash three sweatshirts on the deep clean wash cycle because they kept smelling a little funky. Really, three shirts on a cycle that takes TWO HOURS AND TWENTY THREE minutes...that would be wasting water and energy.
I did NOT go back to sleep on the sofa Saturday until almost noon while the girls watched Sponge Bob. I would NEVER let them watch this just so I COULD get some sleep!! (If this was the case, I would have had an excuse since I had to pick up the boys at a concert and didn't get to bed till 2 am AND drop off for football early. But....I was awake. All morning.)
I did NOT miss both my son's football games this week. I was there at each one. Teddy's when they won, and made headlines for their upset of Perry Hall, and Tucker's on Saturday morning. Early. Awesome games. Go Indians! So much fun!
I did NOT drive Tucker to school for football at 7 am, bra-less and in a nightgown. Even though I do live 4 minutes away, and the likelihood of being pulled over, being in an accident, or running out of gas is slim.
I have NOT neglected to clean my hamsters cage for a very, very long time. He is such a sweet little fellow, and it is really enjoyable dodging his rabid attempts to kill me.
I did NOT deliberately drive over the end of my neighbors newly paved driveway minutes after it was poured. Even though she has threatened my family several times, I would NEVER stoop so low. Although she did have her driveway paved well into the street. The public street.....
I did NOT wash a huge, hairy wolf spider down the bathtub drain, and run the water for 15 minutes to ensure his swift arrival in Spider heaven (my septic tank). I know that even if they are as big as a half-dollar, spiders are beneficial. I also did NOT obsessively check in sinks, tubs, toilets, beds, etc. in case any more appeared. Betcha check your drains now, huh??