Sunday, October 12, 2008

Not ME Monday!

Another installment of the fabulous "Not Me Monday" started at A quick re-cap: what follows you will find all of the things that I would certainly NEVER do, say or think. EVER. Because, after all....some of it just plain crazy!

I did NOT lose my debit card, credit card, wallet and license. Again. For the second time this month. I did NOT have to cancel my debit/credit card. Again. Nope, I am very responsible and would never lose things. Again.

I have NOT spent way (way, way) too much time checking facebook and all the blogs I follow. Really. I was cleaning. My bathroom is so clean you could operate in it. And the rest of my house?? Beyond compare (or beyond repair!!)

I did NOT ignore the food I dropped on the floor, knowing that eventually the dog would find it.

I did NOT eat a bag of mini Heath bars by myself, and LIE to my children about them being gone....long before they were. They are, I have heard, very addictive AND gluten free so I could eat them if I wanted. But I didn't because I am already "fluffy" enough, and the LAST thing I need is (a bag full of) candy bars.

I absolutely DO NOT still feel sorry for myself and my dumb eating restrictions. That would be silly...I know there is much worse that could be wrong. I so did NOT cry because I just wanted a 'normal' lunch with my family. Really, how selfish and pitiful.

I did NOT read two (long) books back to back this weekend instead of doing pretty much anything else. I also did not text my neighbor to see if she was (finally) done the third book. I am NOT hoping she will stay up late and finish it so I can have it tomorrow. I know there is NO WAY she would ever have time to take a nap in the day to make up for the lack of sleep I am driving her to!!! (Are you done YET????)

I am sooooo NOT secretly hoping Janey's cough is just a little worse tomorrow. Forcing us to skip our normal gymnastics day and avoid the crazy mother who is really NOT driving me completely, totally insane. It's 45 minutes.....she can't be that bad, right?? WRONG.

I did NOT wash three sweatshirts on the deep clean wash cycle because they kept smelling a little funky. Really, three shirts on a cycle that takes TWO HOURS AND TWENTY THREE minutes...that would be wasting water and energy.

I did NOT go back to sleep on the sofa Saturday until almost noon while the girls watched Sponge Bob. I would NEVER let them watch this just so I COULD get some sleep!! (If this was the case, I would have had an excuse since I had to pick up the boys at a concert and didn't get to bed till 2 am AND drop off for football early. But....I was awake. All morning.)

I did NOT miss both my son's football games this week. I was there at each one. Teddy's when they won, and made headlines for their upset of Perry Hall, and Tucker's on Saturday morning. Early. Awesome games. Go Indians! So much fun!

I did NOT drive Tucker to school for football at 7 am, bra-less and in a nightgown. Even though I do live 4 minutes away, and the likelihood of being pulled over, being in an accident, or running out of gas is slim.

I have NOT neglected to clean my hamsters cage for a very, very long time. He is such a sweet little fellow, and it is really enjoyable dodging his rabid attempts to kill me.

I did NOT deliberately drive over the end of my neighbors newly paved driveway minutes after it was poured. Even though she has threatened my family several times, I would NEVER stoop so low. Although she did have her driveway paved well into the street. The public street.....

I did NOT wash a huge, hairy wolf spider down the bathtub drain, and run the water for 15 minutes to ensure his swift arrival in Spider heaven (my septic tank). I know that even if they are as big as a half-dollar, spiders are beneficial. I also did NOT obsessively check in sinks, tubs, toilets, beds, etc. in case any more appeared. Betcha check your drains now, huh??


Jennifer said...

I hate spiders!! And I read blogs way too much too!

Jennifer Loppnow said...

Um I did not just get back from taking my kids to school and the neighbor kids in my pj's, bra less and well you could tell I was bra less and did I mention that my oldest goes to the middle school? LOL

Two Peas In a Pod said...

Cute post! You are funny and witty. I will def be back to your blog :)

PS....are you expecting Quads? Just curious because of the Quardruple Lutz?



Allmykids123 said...

Your blog is adorable! Found you on MckMama and wanted to drop in and say Hello!

The Only Girl at Home said...

I would never do any of those things either!

Weeksie50 said...

eww. I hate spiders.
I am addicted to reading blogs..
and I wish I had a dog to pick up the dropped food at my

heidi said...

I have not spent entirely too much time reading these NotMe! blogs today. LOL Great list!

justlori2day said...

Will you come clean my bathrooms? I hate cleaning bathrooms. And then can you clean my bedroom? I hate cleaning my bedroom. Then when you are done with that, can you clean my kitchen? I hate cleaning my kitchen.

I could go on, but really, you get the point right?

Sponge Bob = nap in my house too!!!!!

What books, what books??? I love books! I have a book I would love to read. But I am blogging and not reading. I should go read!

Thanks for the stop by.

(ok, I am really retarded... you are the second blog in a row whose super secret code has messed with my pea sized brain!)

gnomegarden said...

Oh, I am so thankful for you, my heath bar queen. The fourth is going to take me a few days.... its like 800 pages. I was so tired, I thought I might dies today. I am definitely a vampire by the weekend. AT least you will taste like heath bars and we will live way past the days of cleaning bathrooms. I loved every one of these. esp the driveway. You rock.

rachael said...

i have to laugh about the spider...i definitely don't react the same way! and of course, my house is spotless because i never spend way too much time catching up on blogs :)

Amie@HeartSmiles said...

so funny... I COULD NOT go braless even if I wanted to..sigh.

I have NOT done the same with a bag of candy bars.. or box of donuts. etc.etc.etc.

btw- we eat gluten free around here too.